Just Be Yourself 做真实的自己

We are who we say we are.

我们就是我们所说的我们。

Is the woman who applies make up everyday ‘being herself”? How about the woman with implants, is she ‘being herself’? What about the woman wearing high heels becasue it boosts her height 4 inches? Is the girl you see in nothing but party pics on FaceBook being herself? Lets turn it the other way, what of the woman wearing a business suit that emphasizes her shoulders with pads in the jacket is she ‘being herself’? If she colors her hair does this make her less genuine?

每天化妆的女人是在“做自己”吗？那么有植入物的女人呢，她是在“做自己”吗？穿高跟鞋因为能增高四英寸的女人呢？在 Facebook 上只看到她参加派对照片的女孩是在“做自己”吗？反过来想，穿着强调肩部线条的西装外套的女人是在“做自己”吗？如果她染了头发，这会让她变得不真实吗？

If being ourselves is an idealized state then I should reasonably be able to expect a like-minded fitness model to be attracted to me even if my greatest passion is to sit on my couch, eat a large pizza and wash it down with a 6 pack of Michelob while watching Monday Night Football, right? After all, I am just being myself – it’s who I am.

如果做自己是一种理想状态，那么我应该合理地期待一位志同道合的健身模特会被我吸引，即使我最大的热情是坐在沙发上，吃一大张披萨，配着六罐米勒啤酒，边看周一晚间橄榄球赛，对吧？毕竟，我只是在展现真实的自我——这就是我。

Believe and so you shall become

相信，你将成就自我

The hardest distinction the uninitiated have with the JBY (just be yourself) dynamic is that personality is malleable. Personality is always in flux. The person you are today isn’t who you were 2 years ago, nor the person you’ll be 2 years from now. There are traits and characteristics we may carry with us for a lifetime, but even these are subject to change depending upon circumstance. You define what being yourself is at any given moment and it’s relative to your personal conditions and environment. So where do you draw the line? When does a genuine change of character become legitimate rather than being ‘shallow’ or ‘superficial’? Those are just catch terms that women (and too many chumps) have used with success over the centuries and men have internalized as being states of perception that women think are undesirable, yet they never accurately define. Rather, they stay intentionally ambiguous and relative to an individual woman’s interpretation, while their behaviors indicate their own motivations.

对于未入门者来说，最难理解的是“JBY”（做你自己）理念中的一个关键区别：个性是可塑的。个性始终处于变化之中。今天的你与两年前的你不同，两年后的你也将与现在不同。有些特质和特征可能会伴随我们一生，但即便这些也会因环境而改变。你在任何时刻定义的“做自己”都是相对于你的个人状况和环境而言的。那么，界限在哪里？何时真正的性格转变才算合法，而非被视为“肤浅”或“表面”？这些不过是女性（以及太多傻瓜）几个世纪以来成功使用的标签，男性内化后认为这是女性认为不受欢迎的感知状态，却从未准确界定。相反，它们故意保持模糊，并根据个别女性的解读而相对变化，而她们的行为则透露出自己的动机。

You are who you believe you are, and you are who she perceives you to be.

你是你所相信的自己，也是她所认为的你。

One of the hardest things for anyone, male or female, to hear is that they need to change their lifestyle because it implies that their just ‘being themselves’ is in some way at fault for their present conditions. It’s analogous to telling someone they’re not living their lives ‘correctly’ or that they’re raising their kids wrong. If I have a friend that is shooting heroin and I actively encourage him to stop and make an effort to help him ‘clean up’, society calls me a hero or a savior. When I encourage my friend to quit smoking before she gets cancer, I’m a concerned good-friend helping my friend with a health risk behavior. But when I tell a friend he needs to change his approach to women and this is a reason for his unhappiness and he needs to change his outlook on, and approach with women, look better and feel better, then I’m a ‘shallow’ prick and insensitive to his ‘problem’. Worse still is even attempting to offer constructive criticism, in as positive a light possible, that a person can improve themselves by changing their outlook and modifying their behavior.

对于任何人，无论男女，最难接受的事情之一就是听到他们需要改变生活方式，因为这意味着他们“做自己”的方式在某种程度上导致了当前的状况。这类似于告诉某人他们没有“正确”地生活，或者他们养育孩子的方式有误。如果我有一个朋友在注射海洛因，我积极鼓励他停止并努力帮助他“戒毒”，社会会称我为英雄或救星。当我鼓励我的朋友在患癌前戒烟时，我是一个关心朋友的好朋友，帮助她应对健康风险行为。但当我告诉一个朋友他需要改变对待女性的方式，这是他不幸的原因，他需要改变对女性的看法和态度，让自己看起来更好、感觉更好时，我却被视为“肤浅”的混蛋，对他“问题”的敏感度不够。更糟糕的是，即使以尽可能积极的方式尝试提出建设性批评，指出一个人可以通过改变观念和调整行为来提升自己，也会遭到反感。

Personality is not only malleable, but it can change dramatically under specific conditions. An easy example of this is veterans with post traumatic stress disorder. These men were exposed to traumatic environments that fundamentally altered their personalities. While this is an extreme illustration it proves that becoming a ‘different person’ is a matter of conditions. If my conditions are such that I enjoy sitting at home eating a whole pizza, washing it down with a six pack of Budweiser and watching Anime on a Friday evening, can I realistically expect that hot fitness instructor at the gym to come on over and genuinely want to fuck my brains out? And why not? After all I’m only being myself and she should “love me for who I am”, right? If this were my case, the conditions that define my personality are incongruous with attracting and/or maintaining a relationship with someone whose conditions are not my own.

个性不仅具有可塑性，而且在特定条件下可以发生显著变化。一个简单的例子是患有创伤后应激障碍的退伍军人。他们经历了创伤性的环境，这些环境从根本上改变了他们的个性。虽然这是一个极端的例子，但它证明了成为“不同的人”取决于条件。如果我的条件是喜欢在周五晚上坐在家里吃一整张披萨，喝六罐百威啤酒，看动漫，我能指望健身房里那位火辣的健身教练过来，真心实意地想让我神魂颠倒吗？为什么不呢？毕竟我只是在做自己，她应该“爱我本来的样子”，对吧？如果这是我的情况，那么定义我个性的条件与吸引或维持与条件不同于我的人的关系是不相符的。

JBY is an operative social convention that aids hypergamy.

JBY 是一种操作性的社会习俗，有助于高攀婚姻。

Women are only too happy to endorse and reinforce JBY for the conscious reasoning that it ‘sounds like the right thing to say’. It’s an unassailable position; who wouldn’t want you to be you? If what counts is all on the inside then anyone telling you to change MUST be manipulating you for their own selfish reasons. This dovetails nicely into the popularized fat-acceptance self-acceptance mantra most women will fall back on when the impact of the Wall begins to manifest itself in their physiques and they want to be loved for “who they are” rather than what they used to look like. However, on a subconscious level, the latent purpose of fostering the JBY social convention in men is yet another sexual selection filtering mechanism. Actually it’s more of a filtering failsafe in that by socially mandating a genuineness in the general populace of men, women are more secure in the accuracy of their sexual assessment of men. If all men are Just Being Themselves and are encouraged to be the person they ‘truly are’, this then aids a woman in determining which man will best satisfy her hypergamy.

女性们非常乐意支持并强化“做自己”（JBY）的理念，因为这听起来“像是正确的事情”。这是一个无可辩驳的立场；谁不希望你做自己呢？如果内在的一切才真正重要，那么任何劝你改变的人必定是为了自己的私利而操纵你。这恰好与流行的“接受自我，包括肥胖”的自我接纳口号相契合，当女性开始感受到“墙”的影响在她们体型上显现时，她们会倾向于以此为借口，希望被爱的是“她们是谁”，而非她们曾经的外貌。然而，在潜意识层面，培养男性“做自己”的社会规范实际上是另一种性选择过滤机制。实际上，这更像是一种过滤保险，通过社会强制要求男性群体展现真实自我，女性在评估男性的性吸引力时更加自信。如果所有男性都只是做自己，并被鼓励展现真实的自我，这将有助于女性判断哪个男性最能满足她们的超偶标准。

As I’ve stated in many a prior post, women claim to want honesty from men, but no woman wants full disclosure. In a general sense I advise this because it serves to sustain a Man’s aura of mystery, only to be progressively discovered by women with the appropriate levels of interest and responsiveness to men. However, another reason to remain deliberately ambiguous is to defuse the JBY dynamic that women assume would be a man’s default psychology.

正如我在之前的许多文章中所述，女性声称希望男性诚实，但没有一个女人想要完全的坦白。从广义上讲，我建议这样做是因为它有助于维持男性的神秘感，只有那些对男性有适当兴趣和反应的女性才能逐渐发现。然而，另一个保持故意模糊的原因是为了化解女性认为男性默认心理中存在的 JBY 动态。

Iron Rule of Tomassi #8

托马西铁律 #8

Always let a woman figure out why she wont ƒuck you, never do it for her.

永远让女人自己琢磨她为什么不和你上床，千万别替她想。

An integral part of maintaining the feminine imperative as the societal imperative involves keeping women as the primary sexual selectors. As I’ve detailed in many prior comments and posts, this means that a woman’s sexual strategy necessitates that she be in as optimized a condition as her capacity (attractiveness) allows for her to choose from the best males available to satisfy that strategy.

维持女性至上作为社会至上原则的重要组成部分，涉及将女性作为主要性选择者。正如我在许多先前的评论和文章中所详述的，这意味着女性的性策略要求她在自身能力（吸引力）允许的范围内，处于最佳状态，以便从可获得的优质男性中进行选择，以满足其策略需求。

JBY is a tool in maintaining the feminine imperative as the social imperative. Furthermore JBY serves in optimizing hypergamy in aiding a woman’s sense of security about assessing which man will best suit her hypergamy. Ironically, the JBY dynamic gets upended once a monogamous relationship is established by a woman’s anxiety for ‘fixing’ her partner once in that relationship. What was once the pseudo-genuineness of just him being himself is replace by “I’m working on him” in order for him to become the ideal man to meet with her hypergamic approval – thus exposing the calculated nonsense JBY really is to begin with.

JBY 是一种维护女性主导作为社会主导的工具。此外，JBY 在优化一夫多妻制方面发挥作用，帮助女性在评估哪个男性最适合满足其一夫多妻需求时获得安全感。具有讽刺意味的是，一旦女性进入一夫一妻制关系，JBY 的动态就会被颠覆，因为她会因试图“改造”伴侣而感到焦虑。曾经他只是做自己的那种伪真实感，被“我在改造他”所取代，以便他能成为符合她一夫多妻认可的理想男性——从而揭示了 JBY 从一开始就是经过精心算计的无稽之谈。

We are who we say we are

我们就是我们所宣称的自己

We can alter our own personalities and have them altered by our conditions or any combination of the two, but to suggest that personality is static is a falsehood. The trap is to think that altering personality is in anyway disingenuous – there are certainly teriffic ‘actors’ or ‘poseurs’, and the like, that when we are confronted with them we sense (or even know) that they are pushing an envelope that they may not be entirely comfortable with, but there is merit to a ‘fake it till you make it’ doctrine. We only percieve it as being ‘false’, ‘superficial’ or as “trying to be something your not” when we have a concept or knowledge of a previous set of personality behaviors. If you met a likable cocky-funny guy at a club this weekend, how are you to know whether he’s the real deal or stretching the limits of his personality if you’ve never met him before?

我们可以改变自己的性格，也可以让环境或两者结合来改变性格，但若说性格是静止不变的，那便是谬误。陷阱在于认为改变性格在任何方面都是不真诚的——确实存在一些出色的“演员”或“装腔作势者”，当我们面对他们时，能感觉到（甚至知道）他们在推动自己可能并不完全舒适的界限，但“假装直到成功”的信条是有价值的。我们之所以认为这是“虚假”、“肤浅”或“试图成为不是自己的样子”，是因为我们对之前的一套性格行为有了概念或了解。如果你这周末在俱乐部遇到一个讨人喜欢的自大幽默男，你如何知道他是本色出演还是突破了性格的极限，如果你之前从未见过他？

Law 25: Re-Create Yourself

法则 25：重塑自我

Do not accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you. Incorporate dramatic devices into your public gestures and actions— your power will be enhanced and your character will seem larger than life. 不要接受社会强加给你的角色。通过锻造新的身份来重塑自己，一个引人注目且永不令观众厌倦的身份。成为自己形象的主宰，而非任由他人为你定义。将戏剧性元素融入你的公共姿态和行动中——你的力量将得到增强，你的形象也将显得比生活更为宏大。