The Medium is the Message 媒介即信息

I hate the term ‘Mixed Signals’ or ‘Mixed Messages’. “I dunno man, she sending me mixed messages” is a common refrain among many a Blue Pill man.

我讨厌“混合信号”或“混合信息”这样的说法。“我不知道，伙计，她给我发来混合信息”是许多蓝药丸男人常挂在嘴边的话。

More often than not there’s nothing ‘Mixed’ being communicated, rather it’s a failure (willful or not) to read what a woman is communicating to a man. The average guy tends to ‘get’ exactly what a woman has implied with her words, but it takes practice to read her behavior and then more practice in self-control to apply it to his own interpretation.

很多时候，所谓的“混合”信息并不存在，而是一种（有意或无意的）失败，未能理解女性向男性传达的内容。普通男性通常能准确领会女性言辞中的暗示，但要解读她的行为并进一步练习自我控制，以将其应用于自己的理解中，则需要更多的实践。

When a woman goes from hot to cold and back again, THIS IS the message — she’s got buyers remorse, you’re not her first priority, she’s deliberating between you and what she perceives is a better Hypergamous prospect, you were better looking when she was drunk, etc. — the message isn’t the ‘what ifs’, the message IS her own hesitation and how her behavior manifests it. 10 dates before sex? This IS the message. Canceling dates? Flaking? strong interest to weak interest? This IS the message.

当一个女人从热情转为冷淡，再反复无常时，这传递的信息是——她心怀悔意，你不再是她的首要选择，她在权衡你与她认为更优越的择偶对象之间，她醉酒时你看起来更迷人，等等——信息不在于“如果”的假设，而是她自身的犹豫以及这种犹豫如何体现在她的行为中。10 次约会才发生关系？这就是信息。取消约会？爽约？从强烈兴趣到兴趣减弱？这就是信息。

Women with high interest level (IL) wont confuse you. When a woman wants to fuck you she’ll find a way to fuck you. If she’s fluctuating between being into you and then not, put her away for a while and spin other plates. If she sorts it out for herself and pursues you, then you are still playing in your frame and you maintain the value of your attention to her. It’s when you patiently while away your time wondering what the magic formula is that’ll bring her around, that’s when you lean over into her frame. You need her more than she needs you and she will dictate the terms of her attentions.

高兴趣水平（IL）的女性不会让你困惑。当一个女人想和你发生关系时，她会找到办法。如果她在你和不在你之间摇摆不定，暂时把她放在一边，去接触其他女性。如果她自己理清了思路并追求你，那么你仍然在你的框架内游戏，并保持对她注意力的价值。当你耐心地消磨时间，想知道什么神奇公式能让她回心转意时，那就是你屈服于她的框架。你需要她多于她需要你，她将决定她注意力的条件。

What most guys think are ‘mixed messages’ or confusing behavior coming from a woman is simply due to their inability (or refusal) to make an accurate interpretation of why she’s behaving in such a manner. Usually this boils down to a guy getting so wrapped up in a girl that he’d rather make concessions for her behavior than see it for what it really is. In other words, it’s far easier to call it ‘mixed messages’ or fall back on the old chestnut of how fickle and random women are, when in fact it’s simply a rationale to keep themselves on the hook, so to speak, because they lack any real, viable, options with other women in their lives. A woman that has a high IL in a guy has no need (and less motivation) to engage in behaviors that would compromise her status with him. Women of all ILs will test a man’s fitness (i.e. shit test), and men will pass or fail accordingly, but a test is more easily recognizable when you consider the context in which they’re delivered.

大多数男性认为的“混杂信息”或来自女性的令人困惑的行为，其实只是因为他们无法（或拒绝）准确解读她为何如此行事。通常情况下，这是因为男性过于沉迷于某个女孩，以至于他们宁愿为她找借口，也不愿看清事实。换句话说，当实际上这只是为了让自己保持“上钩”状态的借口时，称其为“混杂信息”或依赖于女性善变、随机的陈词滥调要容易得多，因为他们缺乏与其他女性交往的真正、可行的选择。一个在男性心中地位高的女性，无需（且动机更少）采取可能损害她在他心中地位的行为。无论地位高低，女性都会测试男性的适应性（即“废物测试”），男性会相应地通过或失败，但当你考虑她们传递信息的背景时，这些测试更容易被识别。

More often than not women tell the complete truth with their mannerisms and behaviors, they just communicate it in a fashion that men can’t or wont understand. As a behaviorist, I’m a firm believer in the psychological principal that the only way to determine genuine motivation and/or intent is to observe the behavior of an individual. All one need do is compare behavior and the results of it to correlate intent.

女性的举止和行为往往能完整地传达真相，只是她们以一种男性无法或不愿理解的方式进行沟通。作为一名行为学家，我坚信心理学原理：唯一能确定真实动机和意图的方法是观察个人的行为。只需将行为及其结果进行比较，就能推断出意图。

A woman will communicate vast wealths of information and truths to a man if he’s only willing to accept her behavior, not exclusively her words, as the benchmark. He must also understand that the truth she betrays in her behavior is often not what he wants to accept.

如果一个男人愿意将女人的行为而非仅仅她的言辞作为衡量标准，她将向他传递大量信息和真相。他还必须明白，她行为中所透露的真相往往并非他愿意接受的。

We get frustrated because women communicate differently than we do. Women communicate covertly, men communicate overtly. Men convey information, women convey feeling. Men prioritize content and information, women prioritize context and feeling when they communicate. One of the great obfuscations fostered by feminization in the last quarter-century is this expectation that women are every bit as rational and inclined to analytical problem solving as men. It’s the result of an equalist mentality that misguides men into believing that women communicate no differently than men. That’s not to discount women learning to be problem solvers in their own right, but it flies in the face how women set about a specifically feminine form of communication. Scientific study after study illustrating the natural capacity women have for exceptionally complex forms of communication (to the point of proving their neural pathways are wired differently) are proudly waved in by a feminized media as proof of women’s innate merits. Yet as men, we’re expected to accept that she “means what she says, and she says what she means.”

我们感到沮丧，因为女性与我们沟通的方式不同。女性沟通隐晦，男性沟通直白。男性传递信息，女性传递情感。男性在沟通时优先考虑内容和信息，女性则优先考虑情境和情感。过去二十五年中，女性化趋势带来的一个重大混淆是，人们期望女性与男性一样理性，同样倾向于分析解决问题。这种平等主义心态误导男性，让他们误以为女性沟通方式与男性无异。这并非贬低女性独立解决问题的能力，但确实忽视了女性特有的沟通方式。科学研究一再表明，女性天生具备极其复杂的沟通能力（甚至证明她们的大脑神经通路构造不同），这些研究被女性化的媒体自豪地用来证明女性的先天优势。然而，作为男性，我们却被要求接受她“言出必行，行必有果”的观念。

More than a few women like to wear this as a badge of some kind of superiority, however it doesn’t necessarily mean that what they communicate is more important, or how they communicate it is more efficient, just that they have a greater capacity to understand nuances of communication better than do men. One of the easiest illustrations of this generational gender switch is to observe the communication methods of the “strong” women the media portray in popular fiction today. How do we know she’s a strong woman? The first cue is she communicates in an overt, information centered, masculine manner.

不少女性喜欢将此视为某种优越性的标志，但这并不意味着她们所传达的内容更重要，或她们传达的方式更高效，只是她们在理解沟通的细微差别方面比男性更有能力。最简单的例证之一就是观察媒体在当今流行小说中所描绘的“强势”女性的沟通方式。我们如何知道她是强势女性？第一个线索是她以一种公开、信息为中心、男性化的方式进行沟通。

You don’t need to be psychic to understand women’s covert communication, you need to be observant. This often requires a patience that most men simply don’t have, so they write women off as duplicitous, fickle or conniving if the name fits. Even to the Men that are observant enough, and take the needed mental notes to really see it going on around them, it seems very inefficient and irrational. And why wouldn’t it? We’re Men. Our communications are (generally) information based, deductive and rational, that’s Men’s overt communication. Blunt, to the point, solve the problem and move on to the next. Feminine communication seems insane, it is a highly dysfunctional form of communication….,to be more specific, it’s a childish form of communication. This is what children do! They say one thing and do another. they throw temper tantrums. They react emotionally to everything. Yes, they do. And more often than not, they get what they’re really after — attention. Women are crazy, but it’s a calculated crazy.

你无需通灵便能理解女性的隐秘沟通，只需保持敏锐的观察力。这往往需要大多数男性所缺乏的耐心，因此他们若觉得合适，便会将女性视为狡诈、善变或阴险。即便对那些足够敏锐、用心记录以真正洞察周围动态的男性而言，这种沟通方式也显得极为低效且不合理。难道不是吗？我们是男性。我们的沟通（通常）基于信息、推理性且理性，这是男性的显性沟通。直截了当，解决问题，然后转向下一个。女性的沟通方式看似疯狂，实则是一种高度功能失调的沟通形式……更确切地说，这是一种幼稚的沟通方式。这就是孩子们的行为！他们说一套做一套，发脾气，对一切事物情绪化反应。没错，他们确实如此。而且，他们往往能得到真正想要的东西——关注。女性是疯狂的，但这种疯狂是经过精心计算的。

Covert communication frustrates us every bit as much as overt communication frustrates women. Our language has no art to it for them, that’s why we seem dumb or simple at best to women. We filter for information to work from, not the subtle details that make communication enjoyable for women. This is the same reason we think of feminine communication as being obfuscating, confusing, even random. The difference is that our confusion and frustration is put to their ultimate use. So long as women remain unknowable, random, irrational creatures that men can’t hope to understand (but can always excuse), they can operate unhindered towards their goals. “Silly boy, you’ll never understand women, just give up” is exactly the M.O. Once you accept this, she’s earned a lifetime of get-out-of-jail-free cards. The myth of the ‘Feminine Mystique’ and a woman’s prerogative (to change her mind) is entirely dependent upon this covert communication.

隐蔽的沟通方式让我们和女性在公开沟通中一样感到沮丧。我们的语言对他们来说毫无艺术性可言，这就是为什么我们在女性眼中显得愚蠢或至多简单。我们筛选信息以供工作，而不是那些让女性感到愉悦的微妙细节。这也是我们认为女性沟通方式含糊、混乱甚至随意的原因。不同的是，我们的困惑和挫折被她们用于最终目的。只要女性保持难以捉摸、随机、非理性的形象，让男性无法理解（但总能原谅），她们就能无阻碍地朝目标前进。“傻小子，你永远不懂女人，放弃吧”正是这种模式。一旦你接受这一点，她就赢得了终身免罪卡。“女性神秘感”的神话和女性改变主意的特权完全依赖于这种隐蔽的沟通。

Now as Men we’ll say, “Evil, immoral, manipulative woman! Shape up and do the right thing, saying one thing then doing another makes you a hypocrite!” and of course this is our rational nature overtly making itself heard and exposing a woman’s covert communication. An appeal to morality, that’ll get her, but,..it doesn’t.

现在，作为男性，我们会说：“邪恶、不道德、操纵人心的女人！改过自新，做正确的事，说一套做一套让你成了伪君子！”当然，这是我们理性本性的公开表达，揭露了女性的隐秘沟通。诉诸道德，这会让她改正，但是，……并没有。

This is because women instinctively know that their sexuality is their first, best agency, and covert communication is the best method to utilize it. Appeals to morality only work in her favor, because all she need do is agree with a Man’s overt assessment of her and suddenly he thinks he’s ‘getting through to her’. As Men, we have become so conditioned by the Feminine Mystique to expect a woman to be duplicitous with us that when she suddenly leans into masculine communication forms and resorts to our own, overt communication method and agrees with us, it seems she’s had an epiphany, or a moment of clarity. “Wow, this one’s really special, ‘high quality’, and seems to get it.” That is, so long as it suits her conditions to do so. When it doesn’t, the Feminine Mystique is there to explain it all away.

这是因为女性本能地知道，她们的性魅力是她们最强大、最有效的工具，而隐秘的沟通方式是利用它的最佳方法。道德上的呼吁只会对她有利，因为她只需同意一个男人的公开评价，他就会突然觉得自己“打动了她”。作为男性，我们已经被女性神秘感所影响，以至于期望女性对我们虚伪，当她突然采用男性化的沟通方式，采用我们自己的公开沟通方法并同意我们时，她似乎有了顿悟，或是一瞬间的清晰。“哇，这个真的很特别，‘高质量’，似乎明白了。”也就是说，只要符合她的条件。如果不符合，女性神秘感就会解释这一切。

Have you ever been in a social setting, maybe a party or something, with a girlfriend or even a woman you may be dating and seemingly out of the blue she says to you privately, “ooh, did you see the dirty look that bitch just gave me?!” You were right there in her physical presence, saw the girl she was talking about, yet didn’t register a thing. Women’s natural preference for covert communication is recognizable by as early as five years old. They prefer to fight in the psychological, whereas boys fight in the physical.

你是否曾在社交场合，比如派对上，与女友或正在约会的女性在一起，突然间她私下对你说：“哦，你看到那个贱人刚才对我的那种眼神了吗？！”你当时就在她身边，看到了她所说的那个女孩，却什么也没察觉到。女性天生偏好隐秘的沟通方式，这种倾向在五岁时就能显现出来。她们更倾向于在心理层面进行斗争，而男孩则更倾向于在身体层面。

Within their own peer group, little girls fight for dominance with the threat of ostracization from the group. “I wont be your friend anymore if,..” is just as much a threat to a girl as “I’m gonna punch you in the face if,..” is to a boy. This dynamic becomes much more complex as girls enter puberty, adolescence and adulthood, yet they still use the same psychological mode of combat as adults. Their covert way of communicating this using innuendo, body language, appearance, sub-communications, gestures, etc. conveys far more information than our overt, all on the table, way of communicating does. It may seem more efficient to us as Men, but our method doesn’t satisfy the same purpose.

在她们自己的同龄群体中，小女孩们通过被群体排斥的威胁来争夺主导地位。“如果你……，我就不再是你的朋友了”对女孩来说，与“如果你……，我就要揍你”对男孩的威胁一样大。随着女孩进入青春期、青少年期和成年期，这种动态变得更加复杂，但她们作为成年人仍然使用相同的心理战斗模式。她们通过暗示、肢体语言、外表、次级交流、手势等隐秘方式传达的信息，远比我们直接、公开的交流方式所传达的信息丰富得多。对我们男性来说，这似乎效率更高，但我们的方法并不能满足相同的目的。

Women enjoy the communication more than the information being transferred. It’s not a problem to be solved, it’s the communication that’s primary. When a chump supplies her with everything all at once we think, yeah, the mystery is gone, he’s not a challenge anymore, why would she be interested? This is true, but the reason that intrigue is gone is because there’s no more potential for stimulating that need for communication or her imagination. Too many men buy into the lie that ‘open communication’ is the key to a good relationship and do an ‘information dump’ believing their wives or girlfriends will appreciate it. In doing so a man denies his woman the satisfaction of communicating in teasing out the information.

女性享受的是交流本身，而非传递的信息。这不是一个需要解决的问题，交流才是首要的。当一个男人一次性满足她所有的需求时，我们会想，是的，神秘感消失了，他不再具有挑战性，她为何还会感兴趣？确实如此，但这种神秘感的消失，是因为不再有激发她交流需求或想象力的潜力。太多男人相信“开放沟通”是良好关系的关键，于是进行“信息倾倒”，以为妻子或女友会对此感激。然而，这样做却剥夺了女性通过交流逐步获取信息的满足感。

Nothing is more self-satisfying for a woman than for her to believe she’s figured a man out by using her mythical ‘feminine intuition’. This intuition is really just a name given to her preferred form of communication.

没有什么比女人相信自己通过神秘的“女性直觉”看透一个男人更让她自我满足的了。这种直觉其实只是她偏好的沟通方式的代名词。

Lastly, I should add that women are not above using overt communication when it serves their purposes. When a woman comes out and says something in such a fashion so as to leave no margin for misinterpretation, you can bet she’s been pushed to that point out of either fear or sheer exasperation when her covert methods wont work.

最后，我应该补充的是，女性在达到目的时并不排斥使用直接沟通。当一位女性以一种不容误解的方式明确表达时，可以肯定，她是因为恐惧或纯粹的恼怒而被逼到这一步的，因为她的间接手段已无法奏效。

“Can’t we just be friends?” is a covert rejection, “Get away from me you creep!!” is an overt rejection. When a woman opts for the overt, rest assured, she’s out of covert ideas and knows she must use men’s form of communication. This is an easy example of this, but when a woman cries on you, screams at you, or issues an ultimatum to you she is self-acknowledging that she is powerless to the point of having to come over to your way of communicating.

“我们不能只做朋友吗？”是一种隐晦的拒绝，“离我远点，你这个变态！！”则是一种直接的拒绝。当一个女人选择直接的方式，可以肯定，她已经没有隐晦的招数了，并且明白必须采用男性的沟通方式。这是一个简单的例子，但当一个女人在你面前哭泣、对你大喊大叫，或向你发出最后通牒时，她是在自我承认，她已经无能为力，以至于不得不转向你的沟通方式。

Likewise, men can and do master the art of covert communications as well. Great politicians, military generals, businessmen, salesmen to be sure, and of course master pickup artists all use covert communications to achieve their goals. It’s incorrect to think of covert communication as inherently dishonest or amoral, or even in a moral context. It’s a means to an end, just as overt communication is a means to an end, and that end whether decided by men or women is what’s ethical or unethical. The medium is the message.

同样，男性也能够并且确实掌握了隐秘沟通的艺术。伟大的政治家、军事将领、商人、销售员，当然还有顶级搭讪艺术家，都利用隐秘沟通来实现他们的目标。认为隐秘沟通本质上是不诚实或不道德的，甚至是道德层面的，这是不正确的。它是一种达到目的的手段，正如公开沟通是一种达到目的的手段一样，而这一目的，无论是由男性还是女性决定的，才是道德或不道德的。媒介即信息。